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Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic

While watching Kunal Kohli's new film, there was one particular moment I was seized by pure, nightmarish fright. After crying kids each individually took a few seconds to call on the heavens -- the little Sikh imploring for help from Waheguru, the elder girl saying hey to Bhagwanji, and the tiniest tot praying to God -- there is a scene where we see the big G Himself, standing with His back to the camera in a white suit, creating clouds and birds as he sees fit.

For a moment there, seeing his closely-shorn curly hair, I began to pray. To pray that this wasn't director Kunal Kohli himself, playing God in the most literal sense of the phrase. It would honestly have been a most literal slap across the face of the critics, a meta-slap to show that the director is indeed almighty in film and that whatever opinion we have doesn't even count. Fact, of course. Anyway, like the younglings, my prayers were answered, and Kohli this wasn't -- though now, with that cheeky idea in my head, I almost wish it was.

For that would have shown some quirk, some evidence of genuine creativity. Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic currently stands as a serviceable children's film, with excellent special effects used haphazardly around a half-dozen old school Hollywood plots, but with no evidence of actual heart.

This is a moviemaking-by-the-numbers exercise, which might not have been such a bad thing by itself, if it hadn't been as goshdarned predictable. Right from the first frame to ten minutes into the film, you sit there knowing exactly what's going to happen. And while it might have been a while since I qualified as a kid, I still love their movies, and I'll be damned if kids want their films as unsurprising as with scenes ordered off a menu.

That is what it is, of course. Ah, let's give him a Lemony Snickets' style first encounter with the kids; let's give her a How-Do-You-Solve-A-Problem-Like-Maria style intro song; let her thwart his bodylicious girlfriend; let him win over Kid 1 (then 2, 3 and 4); let them fall in love; let us pretend, for the third act's sake, that there is an actual conflict point.

So I'm not going to into the story itself. I mean, you've seen the promos, and you are well aware of orphans, grumpy Saif Ali Khan and Rani Mukerji riding a pink bicycle over a rainbow... that's pretty much it, in terms of concept. Every scene seems pushed into place -- and lethally -- with motive, so we have one contrived moment following another, just with no time to emotionally connect with the characters.
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